Normally, today, being one month until my birthday would be a day
where I get silly and post links to my amazon wishlist and excitedly
remind people about my upcoming celebration, give out my post office
box addy, etc....this year though? I just find I'm not terribly
excited. I don't really care. I'm still too emotional, upset,
grieving, panicked and otherwise disengaged to want to celebrate
anything. Not to mention, it will mark the first "holiday" of sorts
since Rand passed. It will be a big, obvious empty place in my
birthday without my best friend there.
So it's 30 days until my birthday and I really wish it just was
already over. I don't care about the number this time around, I just
don't want to face trying to be happy and failing.
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