28 year old
Pagan female who lives in Florida with her guy and two cats,
loves Disney, reads fanatically, tinkers in photography and
believes growing up is overrated.
There are people on the net that have nothing better to do
with their time
then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours
a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a
day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their
opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into
their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.
To these people I say grow up.
Here's a bit of info people...the web is
a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I
do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or
whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's
really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty
site has disappeared.
I pay for this site. It's mine. That
means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm
bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else.
Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read
them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live
and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care.
This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or
fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and
express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't,
it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.
*gets off soapbox*
Tooth
Drive:
I need to
raise over $850 for critically needed dental
work. I'll be listing my hand made
jewelry, bracelets,
earrings, necklaces and horns
for sale to try to raise the desperately needed funds.
Every order helps. I can accept paypal payments at
webmaster@giveneyestosee.com
or check/money orders at:
M. Turner
PO Box 1484, Elfers, FL 34684
Thank you for your help and support.
I've also set
up a
tooth fund for anyone
wanted to donate without purchase.
Need a
good webhost?
Try
DreamHost. Use
my linkI'll get a
referal credit which goes straight into the Tooth Fund
as well.
Friday It's Friday. It's also my last day at the temp job. The one lady is coming back on Tuesday so my eight-day-turned-five week stint is over at noon. And this morning of all mornings it was damned hard to get out of bed. But I couldn't very well miss my last day.
I'm having the odd sleep problem again. The weird dreams that aren't normal. They're not nightmares but they're also not right somehow. They look and feel and just play differently and I feel like when I'm in them, I'm stuck in this web or something. I feel like someone's pushing my head under water. I wake up and it's still clinging to me; like it's trying to drag me back into it. 2:30am I woke up from one of these dreams. It was really normal in content and there wasn't anything scary about it but I felt like I'd been struggling for hours to get out of it. And when I woke up, I had that same sensation of shakiness; jittery feeling just under the surface of my skin. If I didn't know better, I'd swear I'd have taken too much claritin or something; that same mediciney/caffine buzzy feeling you get. I didn't have any caffine yesterday and I didn't take any clairiton, asprin or anything.
I don't even have words to explain why it feels so weird and disturbing to me. It just feels unnatural. It feels invasive. It feels sticky and clingy and a bunch of other adjectives that mean the same thing. And that jittery feeling I get is almost painful in it's strength. I mean I don't literally tremble, but it feels like I do right under the surface of my skin and in my bones. I don't know how to explain it. I just know it stinks and nights like last night leave me utterly unrested.
I was able to get back to sleep later on in the night and sleep normally And the difference is all the more noticable when I do. Falling alseep normally feels like sinking into a warm, soft pillow or something. But those dreams don't feel anything like that. They feel so foreign and wrong. I could understand if I were just having nightmares but there's nothing "bad" about them.
Anyway...when I go home today I'm going to lay down for a little bit. Maybe rest and hope I get some more comfortable sleep in. I also hope that moving forward, if I get back on my more normal sleep schedule, this problem will go away. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so tired all the time and yet I'm almost afraid of going to sleep. I just don't want to feel that way ever again.
So an hour and a half to go and I'm done for now. I'll be back in November to cover for a vacation around Thanksgiving, but sadly, this is the end of the desperately needed extra income for the time being. :(
