30 year old Pagan
female who lives in Florida with her guy and two cats, loves Disney,
reads fanatically, tinkers in photography and believes growing up is
overrated.
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"plum blossom" ver. 16
originally created 3/21/07 and designed for 1024x768
CSS capable browser Like
There are people on
the net that
have nothing better to do with their time then be nasty
to other
people online. They post rude comments, spend hours a
day talking
about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend
hours a day
talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and
posters for
their opinions and their right to free speech. They
expect everyone
to fit into their narrow-minded little world view or
else they throw
a temper tantrum.
To these people I say
grow up.
Here's a bit of info
people...the
web is a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here,
or who I am,
or what I do, or talk about, or what I look like, or
the color of my
hair, or whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go
somewhere else.
It's really, really easy. Honest. You just click the
little "x" in
the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending,
big, mean and
nasty site has disappeared.
I pay for this site.
It's mine.
That means I can use it for whatever the hell I want
to. Don't like
it if I'm bitching about something in my life? Oh
fucking well. Go
somewhere else. Think I'm stupid for expressing my
thoughts? Too
fucking bad, don't read them. Somewhere along the line,
someone
forgot this simple fact: Live and let live Don't
like me,
cool, fine, whatever, I don't care. This journal
is NOT for
you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or fame
or anything
stupid like that. I write it because I need to write
and express
myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read
or don't, it
doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours)
bitching about
it.
*gets off soapbox*
: : welcome to giveneyestosee.com : :
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M. Turner
Po Box 1484
Elfers, FL 34680
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Friday, June 01, 2007
Over The Worst I think I can finally say I'm past the worst of the stomach flu/whatever that's been plaguing me since Monday night. I don't feel 100% but I finally am at the point where I can actually imagine being well again. You know how, when you're sick for awhile really bad, there comes a point where you realize you've peaked at the worst and are on your way to recovery? That's how I feel. *knock on wood* Not perfect, but better. I even managed to eat some real food today. So thank gods. I'm so ready to be normal again. Between the cold and the stomach flu it's been an absolutely hellish nine days or so.
Still Badly Ill First the cold took out last weekend. Then Monday night I started to get stomach ill. Overnight into Tuesday, I threw up twice. Tuesday and Wednesday, no more vomitting but still extreme pain and other oh-so-fun stomach woes. Last night, it was so bad, I seriously was debating if I needed to go to the ER. Jury's still out on that because we're at almost three days without any real relief and without OTC meds providing any real help. I just don't know what to do. I can keep things down, but my stomach is agony and totally farked. I can't eat anything except some saltines and yet, I'm starving. I've got a killer headache as well but I'm not sure if it's because I need some caffeine, because of stress, because of the whatever in my stomach or something else. I've been trying to rest and sleep as much as possible, but I'm still exhausted and dammit, in a ton of pain.
The problem is that it fits the signs of "stomach flu" but it also fits the signs of other, more serious conditions. There's just no way for me to self-diagnose which it is because from a laymen's standpoint, it looks all the same on paper. The advise in terms of when to seek medical attention vary greatly as well. And since I don't have insurance, it'd mean going to the Emergency Room, sitting around and waiting for hours just to be seen and wind up with several thousand dollars in charges. I keep setting these timeframes for myself like, "Ok, if I'm not better by morning, then I'll go" or, "if I'm not better by the time Love gets home from work, then I'll go." But it's just so hard to tell if it's worth the extreme stress and expense when it might just be a viral stomach infection that has to go away on it's own.
What makes me question even more is that today, Love has come down with the exact same symptoms. So that leads me to think it IS a stomach flu, but then why the hell am I still so sick almost three days later?? Anytime I've had this kind of problem before, I feel better in about a day. One of the times I didn't, I got so dehydrated I had to go to the ER (but that was a case of being unable to hold down even a sip of water) and the other time I didn't it turns out I had a gallbladder infection that needed an overnight stay and IV antibiotics. I was worried it might be that again but if Love's sick too...?
Dammit. Why does it have to be so difficult? I just don't know what to do and it's made so much harder by my lack of access to any medical care. The ER is the absolute last-ditch, I think I'm dying option but I'm just tired of being in pain and so badly sick to my stomach, I worry that I've lost perspective of when or even if I should consider it.
It's been a horrible week and I'm just so over it. I was crying last night because I wanted it to be over. I feel so defeated and I can't put into words how tired of being miserable I am.
I've been up, violently sick, all night. Forget the cold which is progressing into less miserable stages, I mean some kind of stomach flu. Love, our friend Rand and I all ate dinner together last night. Same thing. Only I got ill.
My stomach has been in absolute agony for about...oh, ten or eleven hours now. I woke up around 4am to be sick. Then again around 7am despite nothing being in my system to surrender. My stomach refused to believe there was nothing left.
I had very broken, pained sleep last night because of the severe pain in my stomach. It still hurts really, really bad. Like I've been punched in the gut. And I still feel like I could throw up despite the fact that there hasn't been anything in my system for many, many hours. Normally, when I get this kind of sick overnight, I feel better by the time I get up in the morning. No such luck today.
Three-Day Weekend Cold Joy of joys, I have been sick for the past three days. Somehow, I got a cold. I guess the weird, low-grade sore throat I had for like four days decided it was going to manifest into something significantly less fun. And thus, a cold is born.
Worse, the cold decided to really kick into full swing about 45 minutes into watching Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Greeeat. Nothing like having to constantly blow your nose for two and a half hours in a theater to make the movie-going experience that much more fun.
Colds for me mean a nose that doesn't stop running and thus needs to be blown every 22.5 seconds or so. It also means my upper lip and nose get badly chapped and painful, and my ears get into the fun from the pressure of blowing my nose several hundred times. This weekend has seen me consume more antihistamines at once then ever in my life. (Resulting yesterday in an oh-so-lovely case of woozy, unbalanced "medicine head" feeling and very little actual relief.) Remember when you were a kid and you'd take stuff and it'd dry your nose out to a crispy shell and while it actually kinda hurt you were happy because it meant your runny nose had finally stopped? Yeah, that ingredient was apparently killing people or something so there's no such thing as a truly "dry you out" cold medicine any longer. Hence the antihistamines which is the closest you'll get to runny nose help despite being allergy meds.
Anyway, the cold didn't really get me out of the stuff we needed to do this weekend, so let me tell you...beat. Love made me lay down for an hour this evening and I'll probably be heading off to bed soon for the night. Hopefully, I'll sleep better than last night which consisted of waking up every hour on the hour. Oh yes, cold = teh suck.
Oh yes... On top of everything, the ship date for the Full Moon Swap "Blue Moon" theme is Thursday. I have a completely untried item I want to create for it but there hasn't been anywhere near enough firing brain cells to do it this weekend. (It's strange when you actually can feel that your thinking is sluggish and slow.) I hope I feel better in the next day or two so I have time to do it because I'm not happy with the swap as it is in terms of being "done." I like what I have, but it's not enough and the damned clock is ticking really freakin' loud.
Alright I'm beat. Closing out now. Hope everyone's weekend has been better then mine.
