28 year old Pagan female who lives in Florida with her guy and two cats, loves Disney, reads fanatically, tinkers in photography and believes growing up is overrated


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Miss M. Turner
PO Box 1484
Elfers, FL 34680




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Reminder...

There are people on the net that have nothing better to do with their time then be nasty to other people online. They post rude comments, spend hours a day talking about sites they hate so much, that they well, spend hours a day talking about them. (lame) They mock the owners and posters for their opinions and their right to free speech. They expect everyone to fit into their narrow-minded little world view or else they throw a temper tantrum.

To these people I say grow up.

Here's a bit of info people...the web is a HUGE place. If you don't like what I say here, or who I am, or what I do, or talk about, or what I look like, or the color of my hair, or whatever asinine thing you dwell on, go somewhere else. It's really, really easy. Honest. You just click the little "x" in the corner of your browser and *poof* the offending, big, mean and nasty site has disappeared.

I pay for this site. It's mine. That means I can use it for whatever the hell I want to. Don't like it if I'm bitching about something in my life? Oh fucking well. Go somewhere else. Think I'm stupid for expressing my thoughts? Too fucking bad, don't read them. Somewhere along the line, someone forgot this simple fact: Live and let live Don't like me, cool, fine, whatever, I don't care. This journal is NOT for you. It's for me. I'm not in it for popularity or fame or anything stupid like that. I write it because I need to write and express myself and get things out of my head sometimes. So read or don't, it doesn't matter, but don't waste my time (or yours) bitching about it.

*gets off soapbox*


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Friday, April 21, 2006

Two Photos
No real post, just two photos I've been meaning to post for several days.


This is the lovely necklace Neva made. Pretty isn't it? I love the way she wove the beads around the center focal stone. Neat!


And these are the roses that Love gave me the other day. Just because. So lovely!


So there you go.

Friday
So it's another week gone. It's been a week of ups and downs, that's for sure. Yesterday found me badly ill again with my stomach and my plan to head in a few hours later then normal (coming in after lunch) didn't pan out. Felt really bad because of it yesterday. (Both the actual digestive upset and the frustration of not being able to ever stick to a schedule.)

Anyway, I went to work on a necklace during the day and realized I was missing the needed accent beads. Dammit. I hate that. Now I have to wait until tomorrow when I can get to the store during errand running. It's really annoying when you can only get whatever you need done one day a week. And if you find on Monday you're missing something - oh well. It'll be a week before you can get it and get it out. *sighs* It's why when I'm late mailing something it tends to be in week increments. Sorry, Neva. Your necklace will go out Monday. I'll get the beads I need tomorrow.

We watched Memoirs of a Geisha last night. It was a very beautiful movie and it was interesting, though it was also odd. It's such an uttely foreign culture to most of the rest of the world that it's hard to understand it. For example, the main character is trying to prepare at one point for her formal introduction as an official geisha which involves selling her virginity to the highest bidder. It's all so strange and ritualized and just...foreign. It's also one of those movies which is less an A-to-B plot and more just there. Like a snippet of a much larger story. It just is if that makes sense. A movie that's just a small journey rather then a destination.

I'm so excited because there was a bed-in-a-bag set that I wanted for about two years now. When I first saw it, it was like $300. Which is well beyond my price range. (To say the least.) But recently, I've been seeing it discounted. A few months back I saw a seller on amazong offering it for $125. The same eight-piece set! But of course, I didn't have the money for it and it eventually sold. Well, my mom wanted to get me one more thing for my birthday - a bigger ticket item. Normally, she gets me a jewelry item like some white gold earrings or something but she didn't this year and wanted to know if there was anything I wanted. So I told her about the set. Then I found on on ebay offered by a 100% positive feedback seller for $115. New and factory sealed. She asked me to bid on it since she doesn't know how ebay works exactly. Well, the auction ended last night and I won! So I'm getting this totally amazing set for my birthday now. I'm totally psyched. Of course, I know it will probably be promptly destroyed by my girls who both sleep on the bed with us but it's ok. I'm still excited. It's the first time I've ever had a real, grown-up, full bedding ensemble. Then, to top it off, Target had the matching accent pillows on clearance for a whopping $3.49 each. So I ordered two. Score! (It looks like this by the way.)

So that's that thus far. Still have another long afternoon ahead of me. *chuckles* Good news is though that it's Friday. Not sure yet what next week will bring but when I find out, I'll update again.

TTFN and enjoy your Friday.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

30 Second Amusement
Best search engine result of the week:

19 Apr, Wed, 15:22:22 Google: kelly pickler stupidest human alive



Oh my...so funny. Best part? I came up as the #1 result. And I hadn't even used that particular phrase in my journal. (Until now of course!)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Like Watching Paint Dry
I don't know what it is today but I am so freakin' bored. I mean like mind-numbingly bored. So bored that you look at the clock and swear it's moving backwards and that someone is playing a trick on you. Surely it has to be later then it is, right?

I don't know why but I'm just in a headspace where I don't want to be here, I don't want to be sitting at my desk, I don't want to do anything - not that I have much to do just some Access training cd rom thingy which manages to be both confusing and condesending at the same time. I've been obssively refreshing LJ but no one's posting. I've read through what few blog posts my friends made on their journals. I've nosed through more topics I didn't care about on the WDW board I visit and still, it's not even lunch (I go around 1:30pm.) I also made a bunch of photocopies and entered some info plus did two expense reports but that was in the first hour of the day. (Which feels like ages ago.)

I just want to do something and it's not sit here, that's for sure.

Bored. Bored. Bored.
Diddily bored bored bored....


Let's see.....
Yesterday I came home from work and Love had a surprise for me. On the coffee table, were a dozen beautiful, red roses. That deep, dark, velvet red that you think of when you think roses. He said I probably had a bad day having to talk to K. and all and basically telling her because of my health, I couldn't manage this many hours. Have I mentioned how absolutely AMAZING and WONDERFUL my Love is? How much I love him? He is the most thoughtful man in the world, I swear. Such a sweetie.

Last week I got lovely mail from Neva. We're swapping jewelry and her piece (looks like this) arrived. It looks even prettier in person and I keep meaning to post a photo of it to show everyone but it's still sitting on my camera. Just haven't uploaded it yet to my computer. (And since I've been writing most of my entries from here at work, I don't have access to my camera's files nor my hard drive, nor photo program to edit images.) I really have to post a picture though because it's lovely and she does very nice work. (I'm going to make her a Swarovski Crystl Memory Wire necklace in return.)

I painted my nails yesterday in this cotton-candy pink color. I wanted something spring and feminine but it's horrible. It was completely streaky and irregular in coating my nails and it dried this lurid neon color. Totally disappointed. I took it off last night I hated it so much. (And normally I'm awful about letting it chip off on it's own.) I've been gnawing my nails a lot lately and I thought I'd paint them to let them recoup a bit. It was one of the maybelline express colors and I've used other (metallic) shades before without problem. But this one was horrible. So now I'm grumpy because it was like $4 for this bottle of craptacular polish I will never use. Plus I still don't have a nice, soft, pretty, girly cotton candy, non-metallic pink shade that I want.

*hums*

1:18pm. Getting closer to lunch. Which is good. I've got the bored snacky thing going on. I want to snack because I'm bored. At least if I head home I can eat a bagel and that should help the snackfest issue. Plus, it'll mean when I get back, there will only be three more hours of the day. Though jeez...the afternoon tends to go even slower then my mornings so if this morning is a sign of what's to come, I want to hide under my bed instead of coming back in. *lol*

I want to do something artsy and creative. I've been dying to spend a few hours at my bead board, playing with my colors and beads and seeing what I come up with. I've had some new ideas for pieces but no time to sit, play and see what comes out of it. I normally do marathon sessions of beading; several hours at once. It's hard for me to sit down knowing I only have an hour or something total and make something. I get stiffled that way. The whole process is a great outlet too so I'm ansty to get back to it.

Alright well, I have totally babbled pointlessly for a good half hour now which means I should end here. Congrats if you got all the way through that. Heh.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Mail Item?
There's a mystery here so if anyone can ID this, please contact me. My mom got something at the PO Box about two weeks ago and forwarded it to me. Normally I get things from the box the next day but...this has pretty much gone MIA at this point. So I wanted to put a general call-out to see if I can find out who sent it.

My mom didn't really take too close of a look at it but she thought it was a handwritten address from out of state. The envelope was larger like 8x10 and was white with green trim.

If this was sent by you, can you drop me an email? I'm curious what it was and I'm worried since it's gone missing. missm(at)giveneyestosee.com

Thanks!

Had the Talk
I got in a little late this morning thanks to both my stomach and being stuck waiting on the guy to finish pressure-cleaning my breezeway. (I couldn't even open my front door until he was done.) So when I got in I spoke with K. Ever want something so much that you fool yourself into thinking you can do more then you really can? I started. I told her that I love everyone here and I wanted the opprotunity so much that I ignored the fact that my needs of part-time hours aren't arbitrary. That because I have chronic health concerns it means I need to respect my personal limits of what I can and can not do. And that no amount of pretending it's not there will make me able to ignore it. She was totally understanding. Stupid me, I started to cry a little. I get really emotional on things like that. I don't want to cry, but I find myself choking up. I don't know why I do it but I always do. (And it leads to me being embarrased in a lot of public situations which in turn makes me socially anxious in a lot of situations.) I told her that I'd love to continue on with a part-time schedule for as long as they needed me or until they got the full-time position filled. I know you need the help and to be frank, I can use the income I joked. She smiled and agreed on both counts.

She asked if I wanted to finish out the week and I said sure. She said to be as flexible as I need to be. If I can't make a day, no worries. If I can come in at 10am, cool. If I can come in after lunch, cool too. She also said she'd talk to her boss ("L.") and see if she didn't want me to stay on in a p/t flex schedule until they find someone. I told her that'd be great. She also assured me that they'd still call me for vacations and for special projects and such. That I was definitely their first choice but that she totally understood why I needed part time and that it was ok.

So...jeez. That was hard. But I needed to talk to her and I needed to be upfront. And I do feel a lot better for having discussed it with her. I just feel a little disconnected now; bobbing. I'm not sure what's going to happen next and I'm a little adrift right now. It's weird. Normally, the idea of not being tied to any kind of set schedule - of any kind, not just in work hours - is confining to me. But now knowing that I'm going to be going back to a more random and uncertain future, well, I have to admit, I'm a little intimidated. It's a little frightening honestly. I think I'm both drawn to and afraid of the concept of forging my own path. Especially when it's so fraught with uncertainty.

Ah well. Jeez. My journal's gotten a lot heavier on subject matter lately. Eventually, I'll pad it out with more fluff again I'm sure. (Of course, you're always welcome to check in at my livejournal because more fluff and inbetween, less serious stuff ends up there.

Guess that's all for now.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Quiet Weekend
Love and I had a quiet weekend but that's ok, I didn't mind. Saturday we ran errands and Sunday we spent the day at home just the two of us. Didn't head to either household and damn, is it nice to have a day to yourself without literally hours of driving (in a completely unsafe and barely running car). We went all out though and made a turkey a la Alton Brown. Same brine recipe we used at Thanksgiving, but it turned out even better. The first time we cooked it was the first time we'd ever tried cooking a bird ourselves. And while it came out ok, we made a few errors along the way. This time, we knew what we were doing and it was great. We tried to find the smallest turkey we could but at 6.66lbs (I can't make this stuff up) it's still a DAMN lot of meat. Needless to say we had it for dinner again tonight. ;)

Unfortunately Sunday night saw me with a horrible migraine. Which led into today. And which prompted me to call in since I hadn't slept. Took it easy today and I'm feeling better though my head is still out of sorts. I'm not looking forward to heading back in to the temp job tomorrow, truth be told. I was looking forward to finishing up last week and then getting back to my "normal" schedule this week and really spending some time on jewelry. (Which I've been jonesing to do.)

It's also hard because I feel like I'm walking a thin line. I want to keep getting the cash for as long as possible, but on the other hand, I don't want to string them along. I'm not going to be able to do 33 hours a week so I don't want them keeping me on in "trial period" mode thinking I'm going to accept. I also don't want to keep having to just call in from the overload because I don't want them to get the impression that I'm blowing them off. I don't know if I should just sit down and talk to K. and tell her that I wanted the job so much I fooled myself into thinking I could handle thirteen more hours then I had always told her was my limit. That I'd like to stay on in a part-time capacity until they find someone full time; no hard feelings. I'm just worried if I tell them that, they'll tell me not to bother doing the p/t and I'll miss out on the extra money. Still though...I feel a rift forming already since I've had to just call in without having to explain the whys; I feel like I'm lying to them, even if it's a lie of ommission.

So...I'm not quite sure how to proceed.

Anyway, there's a new Medium on tonight but my stomach's barking a bit so I'm going to close up for now. Hope everyone had a nice weekend.