Today is looking up. My Love felt so bad that I was that upset yesterday - I broke down crying to him that I just can't take being this bored every moment of my life and that I feel many times like I'm being tortured in some prision - he decided we needed to go do something fun. So, he got two tickets from his work for us - we're driving out to Orlando tonight to see Cirque Du Soleil's La Nouba!! Weeee!! I'm so excited! I've been wanting to see it for years now and I get to see it tonight!!
Jef is out in the living room laughing so hard, I think he's actually crying. He, Karii and my Love are playing some game called Def Jam Vendetta out there on the GameCube. It's this wrestling game with rappers and such and they're all doing a big three-person fight. They've been playing it for hours today and several hours more each of two times since Jef bought it. And I'm sitting here, mind-numbling bored at my pc, listening to them having a good time. They invited me to come out and play it, but seeing as all of them have hours and hours (over the course of three different's night playtime) of experience in it, yeah, that's just a big no. How much fun can it be for me to get beat up by people who have played so much they've beaten boss characters and everything in the story modes? Then they get mad at me for not wanting to participate. Well sorry, but I don't think it's fun or fair to try to get me to "participate" in something I don't know how to do and they all excel at. Not my idea of a fun time. So instead, I get to sit here - at fucking 12:45am - waiting for them to leave on the off chance I'll get like a half an hour to hang out with my Love at all today (but probably not because he'll want some "down" time away to himself since he's been having fun hanging out with people for hours all night). Why don't people ever just go home when they realize it's almost one-fucking-am and he has to work in the morning (neither Jef nor Karii need to) and I've not had a fucking thing to do all night but sit there and be bored? I'm so fucking sick of just sitting around this house, 24 fucking hours a day, 7-goddamned days a week and listening to people come over like every fucking day of the week - literally - and interact in ways that leave me that much more fucking bored? Because when people come over, I can't watch tv (well I can on the shitty tiny tv here in the bedroom, but there's no place to sit but the bed) and I can't even play a video game, because of course, they're using it. There's only so many fucking hours of the day I want to sit and stare at this fucking computer being fucking so bored I want to slam my head in the wall to actually do something. ARG. I'm a fucking prisioner in my own apartment with no way to leave the fucking house EVER and nothing to fucking do that's even slightly entertaining anymore. If I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat in the place, oh fucking well, I just have to deal with it and be hungry (and hope that my Love brings something home with him or wait a couple hours for dinner after he comes home from work so I can eat my only meal of the entire day). If I want to go to a store because I need something, oh fucking well, I have to wait until the weekend and hope I can get someone to take me to Target or something so I can hurry up and rush in and rush out because they're all fucking bored with being there, but for me it's goddamned DisneyWorld compared to being at the apartment. I've needed to go to the postoffice for like three fucking months to mail off some things that I bought for postcardx but I can't ever leave the house and no one even comes here before like 5-6pm and it closes at 4:30pm.
I am so fucking bored every goddamned moment of my sad and pathetic fucking life and I am so sick and tired of being fucking trapped in my apartment 24 fucking hours a day, seven fucking days a week!!! I'm so sick of pretending I don't care that I'm sitting here alone - SO FUCKING ALONE IN A GODDAMNED CROWD - all the time while everyone uses our apartment as a way to get out of their own homes and have a good time. Why can't I ever have a good time?? Why can't I ever leave my house?? The only reason I get dressed at all is because people come over every single night. Some nights, after like three or four hours of people being over - they NEVER leave before like 2-fucking-am - I just give up and put my PJ's back on since I'm condemed to a 10x12 room anyway. It's like fucking jail without even the socialization. Times like this I just get so depressed and moody and I snap at everyone and everything and people can't understand why, but if they just sat and stared non-stop for 15+ hours a day at the computer for lack of ANYTHING else to do, they'd be depressed and moody and snappy too.
Fuck, I'm just ranting and I'm sure I'll manage to piss someone off who'll get all huffy or shit about what I say in my own fucking journal, but right now I don't care. I'm upset and this is the place for me to say what I feel so I'm fucking saying it.
Even though it's just one city, I think it's about damn time someone realized how harmful and flat-out cruel it is and decided to ban the declawing of cats.
Although cat declawing is banned in several European nations, animal advocates said they know of no such restrictions in the United States.
Well, it's about damned time someone started doing something about this. Declawing a cat isn't a small thing. It literally removes the bone up to the first joint on each of the toes. It's the equvelant of removing the first joint of each of a person's fingers to trim their nails. It's a horribly cruel butchery of cats and it's sheer laziness on the part of the cat owner. I've had Kush-ka for 13 years and my mom's had her two kitties for 12 years and none of them are declawed because we took the time when they were kittens to teach them not to scratch, provide them with safe scratch items (like scratching posts and such), and didn't play with them directly with our hands so they were never confused on what they could and could not scratch. (Hands are for loving, not for playing).
Declawing is a surgical procedure, also called onychectomy, in which the animal's toes are amputated at the last joint. Most people do not realize that a portion of the boneónot only nailóis removed. Declawing may result in permanent lameness, arthritis, and other long-term complications. It is actually illegal in many countries. --from The Paw Project advocates who pushed through the bill in Hollywood.
There is a weath of information on declawing, scratching instinct in cats, and ways to aid in teaching a positive behavior (using provided scratcing posts and such) rather then resorting to mutilation of the cat found on The Paw Project's frequently asked questions page.
I applaude West Hollywood for passing such a humane bill and can only hope this will set the precedence needed to get this ban to expand throughout the country.
With thanks to my friend Rand for emailing me the CNN article
Aren't I impressive? It's only taken me several weeks to get so far as to login to my jewelry site - PhoenixFire Designs, put up a holder page and finally get around to making my logo. Whoo hoo. Maybe in another couple weeks I'll get around to making the actual site. *lol* Then again, Chris is helping me put together some PHP shopping-cart stuff, so it's not just all me being a complete slacker. ;)
Thoughts on the logo?
Out for now.
[edit:] Thought I'd throw up a couple new pics in the spirit of the new site that's finally underway. Two shots of me in the type of horns I make and will be selling (including a larger version of the current little journal pic) and two shots with hair twists I got at the Renn Faire. You can find them here!
Wow, looking at my recent stats, I saw that someone came here using Netscape 3 to browse this site. That's old. So then, curious by how many people are on seriously outdated browsers, I look at the system tracking stats and I was floored.
-- I.E. 5 and 6 hold the by far majority of browser usage with 19,804 and 16,323 unique visits respectivly. -- Netscape's newest (7) pulls in 1,326 (most of those are probably me and a friend who both use netscape) :)
Now here's where it starts getting odd... -- 853 people came using Netscape 4, which is pretty old (4.0 stopped support in 98, but 4.7x went until 2001) and didn't support CSS at all), but even more astounding then that is the fact that 498 came using netscape 3 and 15 came using netscape 2! We're talking an eight year old browser at this point!
-- AOL 4 accounted for 68 people and AOL 3 brought one lowly person by (how AOL didn't self-upgrade on those machines is freakishly beyond me).
-- 24 people came via WebTv 1 (oh, you poor, poor things - it's like being so close to the net and not getting any of the good stuff) and amazingly one person came by with I.E. 2! What the heck is with you people? Netscape and I.E. 2??
Later on today, I think I'll take a trip down memory lane using my newly aquired netscape 2.0 and see how far we've really come. Luckily, as I am a bit outdated myself and still using Windows 98SE (though the by-far majority of those who come to my site at 22,602 unique visitors use it as well) I can still install it. (It needs a 9x base which I still have). I'll share some thoughts with it later on.
Wow, congrats need to go out to Chris (formally of zeronode.net and mindsdisturbed.com though both have expired right now) for expecting their second child! His wife is due the end of November, so warm wishes to both of them!
While chatting with him on Yahoo, he said to deliver this message:
Chris is alive and still being geek. When he's done saving the world from hackers, micro$oft and the Patriot act (I and II) he'll be back.
I can't keep dealing with these migraines...fuck. Posted yesterday, watched an episode of Band of Brothers with my Love, took a shower and slowly my head started to hurt. Finally got the needle-in-eye feeling, the inability to see without wanting to throw-up and the removal of brain and replacement of undiluted pain inside my skull that made me go lay down at like 8:30pm. Fitfully dozed for a couple hours before getting up and staying awake for like an hour and then having to go right back to sleep because the migraine was still in full swing. There is literally nothing I have to take when it gets going - nothing over-the-counter works in the slightest anymore - and the last time I got a perscription, it was for Imatrex, and it didn't touch it. I can't get any others to try because I can't afford to go to the doctor, let alone the Rx. (the Imatrex was 9 pills for $40 WITH insurance or almost $200 without).
I'm really starting to get worried about how often I'm getting them and the lengths to which I'm disabled from them. I literally can't even form cohesive sentances when I'm in the middle of an attack and right now (I woke up when my Love did, but I think I'm going to lay back down a little more), I'm still so disoriented and out of it even though it's receded. I just lose the ability to function in the slightest these days. I can't see, I can't speak, I can't walk a straight line - I'm just this mass of pain. I hate it so much and I don't know what to do anymore about it. I avoid everything under the sun that triggers them and still I get them over and over and over. Each time, it's worse and each time I just want it to end no matter what the cost.
Anyway, so much for a lazy Sunday. My Sunday turned into hell.
*stretches* It's totally one of those lazy-day Sundays. I haven't bothered even getting dressed out of the pj's let alone considering doing anything. In fact, the notion of going and taking a nap sounds lovely. :)