I can't keep dealing with these migraines...fuck. Posted yesterday, watched an episode of Band of Brothers with my Love, took a shower and slowly my head started to hurt. Finally got the needle-in-eye feeling, the inability to see without wanting to throw-up and the removal of brain and replacement of undiluted pain inside my skull that made me go lay down at like 8:30pm. Fitfully dozed for a couple hours before getting up and staying awake for like an hour and then having to go right back to sleep because the migraine was still in full swing. There is literally nothing I have to take when it gets going - nothing over-the-counter works in the slightest anymore - and the last time I got a perscription, it was for Imatrex, and it didn't touch it. I can't get any others to try because I can't afford to go to the doctor, let alone the Rx. (the Imatrex was 9 pills for $40 WITH insurance or almost $200 without).

I'm really starting to get worried about how often I'm getting them and the lengths to which I'm disabled from them. I literally can't even form cohesive sentances when I'm in the middle of an attack and right now (I woke up when my Love did, but I think I'm going to lay back down a little more), I'm still so disoriented and out of it even though it's receded. I just lose the ability to function in the slightest these days. I can't see, I can't speak, I can't walk a straight line - I'm just this mass of pain. I hate it so much and I don't know what to do anymore about it. I avoid everything under the sun that triggers them and still I get them over and over and over. Each time, it's worse and each time I just want it to end no matter what the cost.

Anyway, so much for a lazy Sunday. My Sunday turned into hell.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 4/7/2003 08:12:59 AM ~ ~