So I did it last night...brought out the Herbal Essance #42: Wild Cinnamon and dyed my hair. My Love thinks it's great...my friend Joolo does too...but I'm thinking it's got some brassy, uneven orangey bits to it. And it's SO RED. Woah. The burgundy that I used the last time was much more subtle because it was actually a darker shade then my normal brown. So, it made it look dark, but red in dircet light. This however...well...it's red. It's this red:

So...in daylight I think I like it better, but I'm still so angry that there's too many parts that just didn't get saturated enough (especially around my ears) and I think it looks horrible that they're so brown still. My Love swears I'm "just being a girl" and that he can't even tell what I'm talking about. I think it's badly obvious but...I don't know. I'm really mixed on the results. It's just so bright and I'm not used to that. Joolo says that it actually makes my face look like it has some color to it, but...again, I just don't know what to think. Any thoughts?

Right now I'm stealing some cable modem time from my friend Rand (well, I needed to get some faxing done anyway). I hate that I have enough time to pretty much read up on the forum and that's about it. I've not been able to comment much, let alone keep up with the other places I like to. (like my good friend Orb) It stinks. There's such a seperation from everything when you just can't ever keep up. And there's so many times that I'm literally just sitting around on the couch, watching my fuzzy 5 channels (no cable), thinking of how much more I could be doing if only I had access to being online. Grr. Or I'll see something on TV and it will make me think, "Next time I get online, I need to check that out..." Inevitably, I never do because I get on so infrequently that by the time I do get on, not only have I forgotten about it, but I'm so pressed for time that I can't do it anyway. *sigh*

No luck again on the job front. Neither agency that I'm registered with has anything going on - they are both telling me that it's just dead out there - and nothing is coming of the meager ads in the paper. Nothing. Not a single phone call. I mean, I'm taking anything I can get at this point and it's still not enough. One week here and one week there isn't enough to keep my head above water and I find myself wondering why I even bother...what's the point in all this when there's just so much more going against me then for me? I get so hopeless I feel like I can't do it anymore...none of it. It's just too much and that scares me. I just don't know what to do about anything anymore...none of it's right, none of it works, and there's nothing that I can do that will make any of it better...

Well...on that happy note, I'm going to close. Still so much to try to accomplish at and so little time. Be well all.

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 10/4/2001 02:19:42 PM ~ ~