Just this little thread in the Castle it reminds me how much I ache to write. I wish I had the time to actually release these stories from my head. I want so much to be an author, it's such a tangible thing. I can see it, smell it, taste it. I think about it almost constantly-at home, work, while driving, while getting dressed, eating dinner, etc. It's so strong and yet I have no time or energy left by the time I get home to force myself to write. It's maddening. You simply can't set aside a certain set of time to write-it has to be done when it comes and more often than not, that fails to occur between the hours of 7pn and 10pm when I have time to do it.

ARG. For those who have not read it, take a peek at the topic. Tell me what you think of the story arch I'm weaving here. It's small and it's simple, but it's fun.

On the health-front, I'm still waiting to get my lab results back. I'm honestly really worried about it. I'm afraid they'll be so low that the doctor will insist on a transfusion. It's just not something I want to do. Don't ask me why, it probably sounds weird, but it's simply unnatural, it feels wrong. And, when I feel this strongly against something because of my "gut" feeling, there's usually a reason.

Wish I could just get away with taking a short-term disability. Time to try to treat this problem, but also to rest and still have a job, insurance, and a paycheck. It'd be perfect. The odds of making it fly though are about a million to one.

Ah well. Lunch is almost over and I haven't even considered what to eat yet. Better go scavenge.
-m

~ flowers bloom near Memory and Dream at 2/8/2001 12:34:37 PM ~ ~